19 March 2016

How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Count The Ways.


I'll get right to it! I love my husband and he loves me....a lot.

My top ten list....

10) James loves me so much that he tickles my back every night and expects nothing in return.....sometimes.....occasionally.....I pretend that I am fast asleep. He loves me. 

9) James loves me so much that when I am going to the bathroom, he likes to visit and tell me all the really juicy exciting details about his day. I know that it's the perfect time to share stories, when I want 5 minutes of privacy, on my cell phone, checking Instagram and Facebook. He loves me.

8) James loves me so much that when I tell him "NO" he tells me that "NO" is the new "MAYBE", then he pokes me in the eye with it and slaps my forehead. You're hopefully picking up what I'm putting down! ;) He loves me.



7) James loves me so much that when I am taking my 3 minute shower, upstairs, in our bathroom, with the door closed, he comes in with the children and allows them to stare at me through the glass door and yell while he laughs and walks away to play his game on the IPad. He loves me.

6) James loves me so much that when I am telling him a story about work or his children, he nods and smiles, then when I bring something up later on, he stares at me blankly and wonders why I assume he knows what I am talking about. He loves me.

5) James loves me so much that when I tell him I need a vacation and some relaxation, he wonders what he can do for me that will cost $5.00 + tax. He's generous and he loves me. 

4) James loves me so much that within 5 minutes of delivering Adele, I yelled "GET IT SNIPPED" and he was on the phone and booked himself in without first reading the YELP reviews. He also allowed me to ask the doctor if he would forego the freezing just so James could experience some of the pain that I endured while delivering his beautiful children. He loves me. 



3) James loves me so much that when my head spins in a full circle and my eyes turn red and roll to the back of my head and smoke pours out of my ears and every single muscle in my body tightens and contracts, he cautiously and gingerly tells me that he loves me.

2) James loves me so much that when I asked him to go to the store for maxi-pads and tampons and for some Canestan because the antibiotics that I was taking made me want to rip my vagina off, he smiled and made his way to the local drug store. Upon his return, he had all of the items and a large bag of mini eggs. He wanted to distract the cashier from focusing on the other 3 items in the cart. He knows I love mini eggs. He loves me.

1) James loves me so much that when we were engaged, I got the stomach flu and lost control over all bodily functions and shite in the bed, on the carpet, on the floor, then managed to hit the toilet, he didn't say a word. He grabbed the yellow rubber gloves, held his breath, grabbed a scrub brush and got down on his hands and knees. He still wanted to marry me. He loves me. 




To all the men who nod and smile, I raise my glass to you! 




WEAR YOU FUNKY SOCKS ON MONDAY, MARCH 21st!

IT'S WORLD DOWN SYNDROME DAY!

No comments :

Post a Comment